November 2013 – Antoaneta's blog

This week I have started a job at a bookstore. It has been a dream of mine for some time. The place is only until Christmas but nevertheless I appreciate it very much and I am happy to be surrounded by books and by people who feel a connection to books.

A month ago, I have sent out 65 speculative applications to 65 bookstores in Berlin and I have opened up a spreadsheet to document the whole application process. Just for the experiment’s sake and for the laughs.

I have received 20 negative replies (most of them friendly, two especially nice and only one rather rude) and two “maybe”s. The rest 40 bookstores never even replied.

I have told the story to a friend of mine and wise as he always is, he told me to see it the other way round. He said: “65 is an impressive number. Imagine that number in apples!” That lovely comparison alone made me feel better. Then he went: “Besides, now is only your ego suffering.” He was right.

So I let it go. Inside I knew I have done everything I can. I have done my job.

Time passed and last week out of the blue, I was invited to a job interview. This Monday I have signed the contract and on Tuesday was my first day.

I feel good in the bookstore as I knew I would. I feel in place. I do believe it does make a difference if you take people’s money selling them shoes, smart phones, clothes or if you sell them books. They not only buy a book. They buy a story. They buy time. Or at least I like to see it that way.

Today a 12 year old girl came to ask me if we have Mark Twain’s “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”. She asked it in a serious manner, pronouncing the author’s name very carefully. I thought that this is one of the most wonderful things: to be at the age where you still haven’t read “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn”.

That story was one of those little-big gifts hidden in the day. For that and for the outcome of my experiment I am grateful.

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When I wrote the previous bookstore post I have received the most generous and sincere support from so many people. I could feel all that positive energy coming to me even from a distance. For your energy, support and help I thank you, dear friends.

The last years the list of the contemporary music artists who I really want to see live gets shorter and shorter for different reasons: age, taste, time.. Nevertheless, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds always remained in my personal must-see top 3. Thanks to a dear friend of mine, this dream became true. A couple of days ago, I went to a Nick Cave gig for the very first time.

There are some moments from that evening, which I wouldn’t like to forget so I will try to capture them in words.

It’s Nick Cave’s long dark silhouette, silk suit and golden shirt. It’s his obligatory strange and exciting dancing and pointing with the finger (watch a video from a live performance of “Red Right Hand” and you’ll get the picture).

It’s Warren Ellis. It’s Warren Ellis and his eccentric music genius, his violin, and the stillness and power of his stage presence. It’s Warren Ellis and his beard and hair (!).

It’s the piano performance of “In Your Arms”. I don’t dare question the existence of love after that. I honestly don’t.

It’s the songs from the new album “Push the Sky Away”. It’s “Jubilee Street” and “We Real Cool”. It’s their deepness and comfort. It’s that line: “Who wrote you a book you never read? Yeah you know. “

It’s the old songs. It’s their madness and strength. It’s them murder ballads.

It’s “From Her to Eternity”. It’s the song that sings the city I live in. It’s the song that tells the story about a girl. And about angels.

It’s the honesty and the light of that concert and I dare say of every other Nick Cave concert. You know it when you see the expression of his face when he performs. It’s painfully serious. As if he is pouring his heart out. And so do you in return.

It’s that concert of my favourite Prince of Darkness and that night in Paris I wouldn’t like to forget. Never was the darkness so bright.

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With many thanks to my dear friend Plamena Karaliyska who made that night and memories possible for me.

Month: November 2013

A little update on my little experiment

From Them to Eternity: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds